


Inseparable in mind and heart

by newmannenby



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, Cuddling, F/M, It's not mentioned but every fic i write they're both trans, M/M, O is for the overuse of the word ornery thanks lu, a bit of mako/raleigh too bc theyre so cute, a bit of shared dreaming at the end, cute flashback with mako and hermann coming your way, giving the gays what they deserve, hermann and newt being gay shits and doing their own thing, im literally posting this without proofreading eff me, imitation is the greatest form of flattery, its a lil sexey, mentions of grief, post-apocalyptic cancellation party, soft fluff, tendo is the best man at both ther weddings okay, this is way longer than i expected it to be ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-10 01:45:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15280857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newmannenby/pseuds/newmannenby
Summary: The apocalypse is officially cancelled and all are ready for the celebration of lifetime, but Hermann's health takes a sudden turn.





	Inseparable in mind and heart

_ Hong Kong Shatterdome, 2025 _

 

Nothing could’ve compared to the relief that washed over them when the clock had been set to zero. All they had worked and fought against so tirelessly could now longer harm them.

 

The k-scientists fleeted from group to group, all congratulating each other with tears brimming in their eyes. Hermann’s mind felt like tv static from the adrenaline rush of it all, so he kept his left arm slung over Newt’s shoulder. This was all purely for the sake of not losing his balance, of course.

 

He let the kaiju groupie do most of the talking,animatedly reciting their adventure for the rest of the Shatterdome. It was a struggle to hold his tongue at times,and instead focused on the weight of Newt’s arm anchoring him.

 

A large group of jaeger pilots had by now ransacked the entire catering department for sake and bottles were passed to every member of staff. Grief clutched onto everyone but they knew deep down it was the last thing Ranger Pentecost would want them to feel; the only true way to pay respects was to celebrate their victory, and begin patching themselves up in the morning.

 

As the room became brighter and louder, the static grew and Hermann’s fingernails dug into Newt’s ragged jacket.

 

“Hey Hermann,” Newt faced his lab partner, eyebrows stitching together,”Are you okay?”

 

“I’m… I need to go to the medical room.”

 

Newt grimaced,”Shit yeah we probably both need to be checked out. I don’t think it's damaged my eyesight much,like, I already wear glasses, I’m already pretty blind, including you to be fair, you’re what- 18/20 in both? I’m surprised they-”

 

“Newton?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Medic room. Today, if you could,” the vowels usually came out harsher than that, instead they fell flat and weary on the floor. 

 

Newt rolled his eyes jokingly and led him through the crowds of people, keeping at a steady pace for them both.

 

“Would it be better if we- if you linked my arm?” Newt asked as they reached a near empty corridor. 

 

Without reply, Hermann took up the request and instantly felt some tension in his hip disappear. Newts arm felt so foreign under his, an unknown crutch, but it synchronized their walking perfectly.He chuckled to himself at the idea of sharing a jaeger with the man, how chaotic it would be,but utterly thrilling. Almost in reply Newt shared a small smile with him… could he hear his thoughts? Hermann filed the idea away before getting too carried away.

It would surely be an issue to address some other time.

A nurse ahead caught sight of them and slid her keycard against the doors lock system. The room spat pristine white into Hermanns vision; he screwed his eyes shut, face pinched as if he’d just sucked on a lemon. Resting himself in the nearest bed, he could hear Newt and the nurse, introducing herself and gently directing Newt to the opposite bed.

“... Dr Geiszler, it would be best if we could check you and Dr Gottlieb separately, so please lay over there while I go and get you another medic.”

“See id usually agree, uhm-” he squinted at her lanyard through his filthy,cracked glasses-”Mrs. Dainter, but we’ve been through some pretty stressful shit the last couple of  hours so I’d like to sit next to my lab partner over there in case I, or perhaps the Doctor himself, has a full blown panic attack. Is that cool with you?”

Wordlessly, the woman sighed and gestured to Hermann’s bed, as Newt did a quick thumbs up and practically ran towards him.

Thankfully, the whole process went pretty quick: an eye test, oxygen level check, heart monitor, reflex test,et cetera. However, the MRI scan did seem to take forever.In separate rooms, they felt paranoid and breathless.Newt was practically vibrating with nerves and impatience,while Hermann was used to these procedures by now,after having so many in his youth- but this wasn’t the usual circumstance. All thoughts and memories has just been shared with his most beloved all for the sake of saving the world.  _ That _ surely wasn't ideal. 

Leaving with their prescriptions and future check up dates in mind, Hermann and Newt walked in ease, further from the ongoing noise. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to join the celebration? I’ll be fine from here, Newton.” 

Hermann had paused in the middle of the lengthy corridor, resting both hands in front on his cane.

Newt softly shook his head.

“Nah man. The noise is too much for me right now… I think I’d rather hang out with you-unless you wanna be alone!,” he quickly added, raising his hands in defense,” That’s fine too!” 

Hermann sighed contently, his sleepy eyes rolling in jest. 

“Newton, there is no one else I’d rather celebrate the end of the apocalypse with. Even if it does end with us bickering for the rest of the night.”

“I, huh, really doubt either of us have the energy for that… so, my place or yours?”

 

_ God that did not sound appropriate God oh God shit dammit _

Hermann began walking ahead,in hopes that Newt wouldn’t catch his cheeks warming.

“Mine would be better: it’s usually cooler there this time of day.Also, I do have something I’d like to show you when we get there.”

He turned behind him and smiled at Newt, brightly, sleepily and carelessly; he’d sworn that could’ve dropped to his knees and proposed to that grouchy chalk breather at that very moment.

With the adrenaline of the day (and probably the last eight years) finally wearing off on Newt, it seemed to be forever before he reached Hermann’s room. It was just as he’d imagined it. Spectrums of blues and greens coloured the walls under the darkness of night with neatly piled paperworks and pens kept on a small desk in a corner. The bed seemed to call out to him, so without further ado, he flopped onto the silky covers. His hand reached up, tracing the smooth texture with his fingertips.

He was alive. He’d actually survived these mad few years without some ridiculous kaiju related experiment blowing up in his face, or being offed by the hands of a live one. And to think, he wouldn’t be here,on the world's creakiest makeshift double bed,without the man who was currently muttering complaints about his filthy work boots. 

It was a comforting thought to fall asleep to. Hermann had been his jaeger, and likely always will be.

It took Hermann several minutes to realize he’d drifted off when he hadn't gotten an answer to the question he’d repeated several times. His tongue felt stuck to the roof of his mouth after running it dry with words.He quickly switched to pouring them through his hands on the nearest paper. Every detail of the drift was like sliding magnets on a fridge ; threatening to fall or rearrange in disorder. The words were hardly decipherable in the morning, but painted a beautiful picture of how desperate he was to hold onto Newt’s memories, which had already stained his brain cells kaiju blue.

A deep chill had settled within his feet, and his muscles began to feel inflamed so he set off to the shower, closing the door behind him as softly as he could.

Ten minutes and three steamed up mirrors later, he pulled on some set plaid pajamas and planted himself in front of the wall Newt was facing. He felt like an intruder in his own room, not wanting to disturb the beautiful sight. He’d dreamed, craved and fought for a moment like this. Perhaps it would have been nicer if they weren't so tired and aching all over.

  
  
  
  


Turning off the lights, constellations of glow in the dark stars surrounded them. Hermann could still remember the day he’d taken the then 8 year old Mako to the lifeless bedroom, countless buckets of stars and luminescent paint piled in a trolley, ready to create their own night’s sky. The hours of labour and the ache days after was all worth it to see the look of unfiltered awe on Mako’s face when he’d turned the lights off. 

Sliding carefully under the covers, Hermann held his breath, hoping not to disrupt the scruffy biologist. He rested his back against the wall, hips level to Newt’s head.

“Newton… are you awake?”

No response.

He sighed, smiling with a dull ache in his heart.

“Thank Gott, because I have quite a lot on my chest right now, and it would be frankly ridiculous to subject you to it… It might’ve been nice if you were awake, so I could’ve held your hand, guiding it in mine while pointing out all these constellations. It is something I have done so,so many times with you in my head that I cannot seem to sleep well without it.” 

And so he began his nightly script, rattling information about the fictional constellations he had made over the years, their myths, their stories of star crossed lovers who had lacked the courage to conjoin and blossom together, of warriors immortalized by their unquestionable valour, and now the latest edition: Pentecotis, a vast constellation that connected them all.

“Maybe… maybe one day, when most of this era is behind us, we’ll make one of these together. I can see you trying to wash the luminescent paint out of your hair and clothes for weeks on end, wearing frankly inappropriate,but incredibly endearing, white overalls,” he smiled,”But for now, we’ll have to work out what this is. What we will become. 

“I promise you right now, under these stars, I shall stay with you.No matter what we go through. Today has catastrophically changed the course of our world, and I think it would only be right to ensure your safety for the rest of our time here. I-”

Hermann laid a hand on Newt’s shoulder, his thumb softly stroking the tethered leather. His eyes shut, and his ears tuned into the slow breathing of Newt.

“There is so many things between us that are yet to be said, so please do not leave all of that to me. Im not the best at trying to… organize myself,emotionally, but I will try. For your sake.”

Moving his hand, he could’ve sworn he heard Newt murmur in protest. He gently wiggled down the bed, now face to face with the brilliant man and returned his hand to the same spot.

He suddenly realized that Newt was still wearing the now inept glasses, smooshed up against the pillow and the arm digging into his face. He momentarily panicked, wondering whether to take them off for him and risk waking him up and erasing that wonderful sleepy expression from his face. He thanked his lucky stars that Newt was a heavy sleeper and didn't wake when they were removed and placed to the bedside cabinet.

“I guess we can go and get a new pair for you soon. Id offer a pair of mine but I’m more blind than you, allegedly.” he chuckled lightly and let his head sink into the shapeless pillow.

It wasn't long before they seeked out for warmth, heavily tattooed and bare arms reaching around their middles, clutching to fabrics encased around them.

Rapid knocks succeeded on the metal door, waking Hermann from his sleepy daze. Turning his head over his shoulder,save detangling his arms, the gleaming green digital clock informed him he'd only just scraped up an hour or so of sleep. How wonderful.

Sighing he could already hear the drunken woops and giggles passing outside the door, as he slowly rolled out of Newts embrace and reached out for his cane.

“ What is it?”

Beer swinging in hand, Tendo was giggling to himself. He reached his hand out to the wall for support, trying to peer inside. 

Suddenly alert, Hermann realized how wide the door was swung open and inched it close enough to only let his head out.

“Is er…. Newt there with you, buddy? We uh can’t seem t’ find him and he can  _ really  _ liven up the party. Remember when he went round that club giving everyone- heh- lapdances-”

“No he’s, I believe he went to have a walk somewhere off to a friends, most likely that tattoo artist of his. Thank you for asking and may you have a pleasant night, Choi.”

“Hermann, how-” he belched loudly into his hand-”  how many times have I gotta tell you: It’s Tendo. The wars over man. No need for the titles.”

“If you insist… Tendo.” Hermann reluctantly replied, inching the door closer to shutting, until Tendo pushed his palm against it.

“Also, Mako n’ Raleigh are back but we cant find to find them. Carted straight off to medical and to bed I assume. I imagine we’ll get the chance to see ‘em tomorrow.”

Hermanns features eased and he nodded soberly.

“I imagine they're-”

“Thank you.”:The words stumbled from Tendo.

His eyes spoke so much more. Hermann would never get used to people saying that.

“I was simply doing my job, just as you were. I’d bid you goodnight but I’m sure you’ll be awake for much longer than myself.”

“You can be sure of that, my dude,” he raised his bottle and took a large gulp of it. He removed his hand from the door and bought it to a salute, quite a disorderly one at that.

“See you around, Hermann.”

And with a wave, he shut the door behind him. His weight collapsed onto the metal doors, taking a sharp breath of air. It was nice to know that Newt’s friend was thinking about him but he felt too raw, too vulnerable standing there without the man now snoring loudly in his bed.

Surrounding those that were drunk and already high off emotions was enough to set Hermanns thoughts off balance too, and he was thankful to have left as soon as he did with Newt earlier. But above all, he was grateful that Newt was getting some sleep in his virtually silent quarters, and not pushing himself to his absolute limits just in the name of celebration.

As the buzz settled in his head, he shifted his weight back to his feet and cane and headed  to sneak back under the covers.

But there was another knock at the door.

Not as loud as the first one, but it made no difference to Hermann, his mind on the edge of breaking.

Turning and practically ripping the door open he was ready to shoo whoever drunken disorderly there was-

  
  


But his grimace fell when his eyes met the teary hazel ones of Mako.

“Oh, my dear girl-” he quickly pulled her into a hug, one he was sure wasn't as comfortable or as warm as she would want at this moment. But she seemed to take solace in it, dipping her head over his shoulder, her body heaving with sobs.

“Come on in, please take a seat.” he spoke into the shell of her ear, leading her inside with a trembling hand of the small of her back.

He peeked around the corridor before sealing the door shut and turning the lights on; he was surprised how noone had swarmed her and Raleigh yet and dragged them into the pits of the party.

Mako made her way to the edge of the bed as Hermann went to make her a cup of tea. Her eyes glanced at the sleepy biologist, and her heart seemed to lighten just a fraction.

“I heard about the drift: The nurse was telling me about it.” She spoke to the hands folded in her lap.

Hermann lowered himself onto the desk chair opposite her.

“It was quite the experience. It’s beyond what I could’ve imagined,even with my years of learning the logistics behind it,” he said.

“It’s quite a shock the first time, but I can’t really compare mine to drifting with a hive mind,” she said pointedly  _. _

“But you’re so much more braver,Mako. We couldn’t have done this without you.”

Her mouth seemed to crumple, eyes resting on the checked pattern on Hermann’s pyjama shirt.

“I was just doing my job. But-” she blinked out tears-” it’s took so much away from me.”

_ Maybe it would’ve been better if that kaiju had swallowed me whole. _

Hermann froze like a computer getting an unexpected virus, unaware of how to resolve the problem at hand. As he was in the middle of trying to string a sentence together, a large yawn emitted from the man on his bed. Still half awake, he swung his arm to the bedside cabinet and put on the first pair of glasses he set his hands on.

“Hey Herm, why aren’t you-” he stretched his arms up and opened his eyes-” oh, hi Mako!”

Unknowingly Newt had put on Hermann’s rounded spectacles, and Mako found it the funniest thing ever, choking back a giggle.Newt pulled himself back to rest on the wall, and hugged his arms around his legs.

“What is it?... it’s my hair isn’t it?”

“Newton your hair is always an unruly mess so that’s quite unlikely.”

Newt then cautiously felt around his face to the glasses, and traced the circular frames.

“Oh,are these yours? Well, that explains why I can’t see shit then.”

Mako shook her head, a smile slowly fading as she dissolved back to tears.

Newt’s playful grin dropped, scooching closer to her to put an arm around her shoulders.

“He would be so proud of you, Mako. We all are. I know that doesn’t help right now-and you probably just want to sleep- but I just want you to know that we’re here for you. We’ve been working towards this moment for God knows how long, and we won’t just walk away from this family. I mean, I never sleep, so if you ever need a  cup of coffee or someone to sit with, just knock on my door, alright?”

Mako glances up at him and envelops him into a hug. She whispers something so quiet into his ear that Newt has to hold himself from crying too.

As she got up, a rapid fire of knocks echoed from the door. Hermann was ready to just about make a ‘Closed’ sign, when Newt saved him the trouble by bouncing off the bed and swinging the door open.

“ Hexadoctor and Doctor’s post-apocalyptic consultation room, how may we be of service?”

“ Can I come in? Mako said she was going to be a few minutes, but I just-”

“ Hi Raleigh.”

Mako was at the door, having just said her goodbye to Hermann.

He smiled at her, the exhaustion on the day explicit in the darkness under his eyes.

She stepped past Newt and took Raleigh by the hand.

“Thank you Newt.It really means a lot to me. I’m sure that he is proud of what you and Hermann have achieved today. I know we are,” she looks up to Raleigh, and rest her head on his arm.

“Same here- from us to you two, I mean… I think we better get some sleep before we get into a “No, thank you” match, because my brain can’t really handle that right now.” Newt chuckled. “But seriously, thank you for coming to see us. And get some goddamn sleep. We have a long day ahead of us.”

“More like a lifetime,” Raleigh huffed,” We’ll see you sometime soon,Newt. We’ll probably be the only sober people tomorrow.”

Newt grinned:”Truer words were never spoken, dude. See ya!” 

He waved goodbye and watched them disappear down the corridor, walking much like Newt and Hermann were earlier.

“God, they’re so going to get married,” Newt laughed to himself as he shut the door.

Hermann was still seated in his chair, finishing the dregs of Mako’s untouched tea.

“So like… are you still tired?”

“Obviously. We’ve hardly slept an hour, Newton, I’m not staying up if it can be helped.”

“Yeah, yeah of course,sorry, I guess we’ll just… go back to bed.”

“Could you turn the lights off, then?”

Newt did so, and gasped. In awe, he traced his fingers over the stars nearest to him, the small painted specks, the swirling milky way and cosmos.

“You-you did all of this?”

“Not without the help of Mako,” He said, and recounted the story to him as he wandered aimlessly around the room, head moving this way and that to see every little star.

“It’s-it’s really beautiful, Herms. How come you didn’t show me this before?”

“ They’re just stars, aren’t they?”

“God, you orney bastard, they’re  _ awesome _ , how dare you say they’re just “stars”.I mean, there’s no point being humble, Hermann, both of us know you’re too proud for that - they’re  _ art.” _

Luminescence lit up the smile on Hermann’s face, as he got up from his chair and slid under the bed covers. Once Newt’s neck started hurt from looking up too much, he walked over to the bed.

“You’re still okay with me getting into bed right? Or are you just going to shove me to the floor in the middle of the night-”

“That was one time,Newton, and we both know the sofa is too small for the both of us”

“Well, _ maybe _ if you’d let me lay at the side of you instead of the mess that was topping and tailing, you wouldn't have kicked me in the head and sent me to the floor, but whatever, dude.”

“Well at least we have enough room here not to do a repeat of that incident, so stop complaining and just get into bed, you kaiju  _ groupie _ .”

Newt sighed dramatically,”Bert from Sesame Street looking bitch.”

“Then you’re Ernie, with your insufferable blabbering.”

Newt couldn't hold back a laugh at that one.

He took off his shredded leather jacket and flung it onto the floor, bringing to light the grubby white shirt and his lopsided tie.

“Er, is it alright if I change? Like, into some of your clothes?”

“Well, you’re certainly not getting under my covers with those on, and-and uhm-”

“Jesus Christ Hermann, I’m not going to force you into sleeping with me nude,” Newt rolled his eyes and then muttered to himself,” but I’m sure you’ve already seen that in the drift, so it can’t be  _ that  _ shocking.”

He grabbed a black vest and red tartan bottoms and quickly changed in the bathroom, leaving his clothes discarded on the tiled floor.

The vest was tight around Newt’s middle, riding up past his navel, while the bottoms strings had to be doubled knotted, and the legs rolled up to his calves,just to make sure that they didn't fall down.

Looking into the bathroom mirror, he admired the blurry outline of Hermann’s glasses sat on the bridge of his nose, and decided took the rare opportunity to mimic Hermann.First, he flattened a parting into his hair,then placed the glasses at the end of his nose and morphed his mouth into a Signature Gottlieb scowl.

Suddenly, he dissolved into giggles.

“Newton, what on Earth are you doing in there?”

Flinging the door open, Newt stood with his hands on his hips, jutted forward, proclaiming: “It is I,Dr Hermann Gottlieb,and I swear, Newton, if you don't remove these kaiju guts off my desk, I shall obliterate you into chalk dust!”

Hermann erupted into snorts and giggles, trying to conceal the sounds behind his hand. Newt corrected his posture and strode over to the bed side, while ruffling his hair back to its now greasy mess.

“God, you really have a death wish, don’t you?”

“And I didn’t know that you could laugh like that,”Newt shuffled under the covers,and cradled his head in his  left hand.

Newt took into account of keeping a Gottlieb-approved gap between them.

“Because it’s not that often that I’m severely sleep deprived  _ and  _ in a humorous mood,” Hermann raised an eyebrow,”Besides,it sounds absolutely horrendous, so I’d prefer not to laugh in the first place.”

“ _ Herms, _ laughs are supposed to be ugly.Otherwise you’re just faking it.And it’s actually...not that bad: makes you seem kinda human, to be fair.”

Hermann gives him the dirtiest side-glance he can muster and motions for his glasses.

Newt took them off and carefully folded them before passing them over. Fingertips only brushed for a second, but a jolt passes through both of them, ripping their hands apart.

“What the  fuck was that?”

“Must’ve been that loose wire in that PONS machine of yours that kept shocking me every five seconds.”

“Or maybe your ornery energy is converting into electricity and you’re trying to fry me alive.”

“That’s definitely plausible.But let’s just get sleep out of the way before we run off to the lab to try out that theory.”

“Y’know, we could just test it from here-Is it alright if I just-?” Newt hovers his right hand above Hermann’s chest, searching for confirmation in his eyes.

Hermann’s mouth went slightly agape, eyebrows pinched, but shrugs off the expression and nods. He spreads his fingers  over his chest, and pulls back.

“Jeez, are you aways that cold?You must be fucking freezing dude.”

He shrugs,” I’m pretty much used to it by now, and today has kept me on my toes, so I haven’t had much time to notice it.”

“Here, lemme warm you up-”

“Newt-”

“Honestly, dude you’ll feel so much better, I’m the one who took biology, remember-”

The shorter man has his head on Hermann’s chest,his right arm and leg draped across him, and begins pressing the pads of his fingers across his arm in an attempt to help his circulation.At this point, Hermann is frozen mid-breath, eyes fluttering shut at the contact. 

“Is that alright?”

Too distracted to give a proper answer, he hums positively.

“Cool,” He grins up at an angle and digs his hand under the wide shirt-sleeves, drawing out swirling motions.

Time passes like this for a while:burrowing under the covers to enclose the heat;Newt occasionally checking in on him;dim warmth slowly circling around Hermann;stars slowly going in and out of focus in their eyesight. It’s only when Newt’s hand is all the way up Hermanns forearm and his thigh is draped across both his legs when they’ve both fallen asleep.

_ Dim yellow lights spotlight Hermann's desk, swinging side to side; the pair are running hand in hand towards the laboratory, completely dishevelled and emotions circuiting through their overlapping neural networks. Newt is trying to say something, maybe even complimenting Hermann’s excited state, but it’s all warped and coming out in sporadic order. Hermann turns behind him, grabbing a pen and ends out scribbling nothingness onto the paper.He turns- oh what an opportunity, to rerun time, with vigour,nothing but their own vessels to communicate with.  _

_ Newt seems to catch on from the fixed glare and set jaw Hermann can feel grinding into his top set of teeth, and parks himself back into the chalkboard of floating numbers, neck jutted upwards.Hermann savours the stride towards him, drinking in the sight of an aroused Newt, shirt torn and mouth curled into a devious smile. It doesn’t feel long before his hand is curled around the shoddy, unspeakably butchered tie,used to pull him into a rough, hungry kiss, all teeth and tongue bitten, hands gliding up rough sweaty stubble and down to the side of his neck.It’s almost to real, too much for a first encounter, but it’s all dismissed and forgiven under the beautiful circumstance.They’ve just won the war. _

_ And they’ve just won each other. _

**Author's Note:**

> Phew! bet that took a while to get through! Honestly: give your eyes a rest after reading all that. So, thanks for reading my work! Leave a kudos and a comment if you've liked it, and watch this space as I'll be writing my first multi-chapter fic soon on these nerds.  
> also, if you see any mistakes in my writing please tell me i'm posting this at midnight right now without double checking or betas.


End file.
